breaking in

I am so glad but so disappointed at the same time that my feeling is so complex now.

The reason I am happy is because I finally broke in a debate competition. The last two rounds in our preliminary rounds are good, we managed to debate at a much more higher level than we normally do. So we beat up two teams in a row. As we lost the first two rounds by close speaker scores, our average score is high and we made it to the quarter finals with ranking 6. Actually our speaker score is even higher than the rank 4th and 5th teams but their number of winnings are more than ours.

In quarter finals, we are debating whether we should intervene in Syria militarily. We, the government took the stance of not to do so. We built our case and defended it while our opponents tried to poke holes in it to bring it down. After the match I was quite certain we can beat them, just as my seniors thought. But when the results are announced, it was a defeat with 3-2 split. The chair gave the win to us, but 3 panels think our case failed to stand. We asked for reasons and advice from the adjudicators, and found that each of them have different prioritization. Some think the opponent don't have a stance, some think the opponent actually did poke enough holes to bring the case down.

The other 3 quarter finals ended with clear wins of 5-0, 5-0 and the most shocking of all, UMP beat UM with 4-1 clear win. So it seems that our match was the toughest and closest of all other quarter rounds. Our trainer was quite pleased because we actually nearly beat a strong team. But then, the fact is we missed the semi final round.

Maybe if we were judged by 7 or 9 adjudicators the condition will be different, but of course no one can be sure how they will judge us. I am a bit sad because I lost a great chance, but I believe the way ahead is clear. I am a first year student who has just been debating in English for six months, and I have broken into a major tournament in Malaysia. I may not be a top debater now, but I will work hard to be one.

So long girls and boys, please await a better me in the next tournament.

the battle is still on

Today has been quite disappointing. Two matches. Victories are so close, yet so far.

I have never had so much desire in winning a debate. One has to perform quite well until you are confident enough to think you can win, and one has to be confident that he can win in order to feel that desire.

It's not perfect debates in those two matches, yet I felt that we have at least achieve a standard that I am quite proud of. However somehow fate is not on our side. The first debate we lost to another team with speaker score of 1 mark while less than 5 for the second match.

The only way we can break is to win the following two rounds with a higher than average speaker score.  But yet our battle is still on! As long as there is any chances, I won't give up. Even if there's no chances I won't give up either! I love debate, and I may not be as well as those who debates in English language for a longer time, but my fire of spirit continues to burn brightly no matters what.