没事是好事，难事也是好事

什么是好事，什么是坏事？
下了好几天的雨后，一件事让我有感而发。

在开斋节来临前，老天下了好几天大雨。说实在，这雨下得有些邪门。一个星期前，天气热得要命，半夜降临温度计的“血压”还是很高，竟然达到三十度以上。一两年前这种温度是在太阳在头顶上放肆，我们都躺在沙发上嚷热的时候出现的。但是无端端的，半夜三更温度竟然可达到三十二摄氏，还不热得大家在床上翻来覆去，像那个热锅上的蚂蚁一样。

然后接下来有两天乌云密布，却好像在戏弄大家似的，在大家抬头盼望到脖子都快断了的时候，又散了。有时洒了几滴“童子尿”来“敷衍敷衍”。几次这样，大家都当着“狼来了”，天黑时就一句：不会下的啦~。

不过狼还真的来了。五天前，雨点在摆了三四次“虚惊进攻”，这次终于“养军千日，用兵一时”，一泄泄个痛快。连下了三天三夜的大雨从来没间断过，只是有时下小了些（休息是为了走更长远的路XD）然后再来新一轮猛攻。

下雨最头痛的就是难于出门，非常不方便。又加上游子回乡，我的故乡就像是一个小盘要塞下整十个人要吃的饭，爆满了。五分钟的路程，变成一个小时，出门坐车简直可以在车上大睡懒觉（除了司机）。再加上建路工程正在进行中，临时通的道路又不够理想，简直是雪上加霜，而且是好多好多的霜！我好不容易等到在外读书的朋友回来，却又不能去见他们了。

但是我向我妈投诉的时候，我妈静静的手对正播着新闻的电视机一指，说道：“我们有的是小风，那里现在来的是台风。我们来的是小雨，人家却在面对热带暴风雨。”

听到了这一番话，我的心里震惊极了！因为一点微不足道的小事，就心头不快。别人正面对灾难，我又凭什么申诉自己的运气不好！

我妈曾说过：“等你们长大后，就知道现在的难事是好事，而在人生中，没事就是好事。”
没事，就是没有灾难痛苦，应该感到高兴，惜福。为何要为了小事为自己增添烦恼和痛苦？
就说现在人不断看不开的爱情和物质上的不足，根本没有资格去和别人的痛苦作比较。难事，会使我们坚强，能够吃苦和不怕失败，更能进一步激发我们改善自己的状况以达到更好的生活。这不都是好事吗？

要把事事视为好事，才能发现其意义，进而发挥其用处。若把事事视为坏事，那就会事事不顺，进而使自己痛苦啊！

To share for nothing

One day, I ask myself a question: Why do we share the thing on our mind on social websites?

Before I get an satisfactory answer for myself, I found an interesting article on newspaper some day after the question pop into my mind. There was headlined by "Useless Generation"

It stated that our current generation is facing serious problem related with social websites. One of the problems it told me gave me a sharp blow on my head. 

"People who uses social websites today tends to become more absorbed in imaginative wellness. They shared statuses to tell people every single thing they are doing, because they thinks that they got a lot of attraction that way (like a Hollywood star, I supposed, whom people demand to know every tiny, insignificant facts about them). They also posts "exotic" sentences and famous quotes, to show people their "high-class-ness" (or how well their "chim-glish" is). Click here to know more. These action act as a fuel for their self satisfaction, but sadly in a pathetic way.

It also warns that we human who depends heavily on social websites will pay a heavy price someday. Somehow, the article seems to answer my question that troubled me for quite some time.

Do we share for the benefits of others, or for our own imaginary satisfaction? Do we gain anything in reality, or gives any contribution to the society? Do we even follow the "meaningful" sentences we post for others to see? Do we create online groups that truly lead to a place where people share their mind peacefully, or allow people to vent their feelings in the form of rude and irresponsible words that may trigger distortion and war?

I am not saying that we cannot share words we find meaningful to inspire people around you as how it inspires you. I am not saying we cannot share jokes that may cheer up your friends. But before you post , before you share, please ask yourself the reason you want to share. If somewhere deep in your souls the reason "To let me feel good by getting people's 'LIKE' or '+1' is hidden, then stop, don't do it. The action's same, but because the intention is wrong it has no meaning at all.

To share for your friends is to wish they can find the information you share useful or cheering. To share to fuel your pride, one day you will wake up realizing it's all a stupid dream, and it's just the same as to share for nothing.

Nice for a reason

In life we may have many friends. And they treat you nicely (at least in some way you appreciate). I guess that's why (s)he is your friend anyway.

There is many reasons people are being nice to you. Do you ever think about that?

Human is a type of social animal. We seek attention and care. That's the general reason why we live in groups and make friends. Besides cooperating to survive anyway.

But what kind of thoughts people have in mind when they become your friend? Do they become your friend just to seek attention and care? Or do they choose you because they are comfortable with you?

They sound no difference, but the difference's huge.

Let's check again: They become your friend to seek attention and care.
And there's this one: They become your friend because they are comfortable with your attention and care.

The first type is present everywhere and is so common that most people would have got used to it already. They are people who make friends because they don't want to be lonely. Of course you may ask: Who wants to be lonely? My answer: No one, but not everyone become your friends JUST BECAUSE they don't want to be lonely. If that's the only reason they become your friend, then you just found some bunch of friends who can leave you anytime when they are not lonely without you and have to choose between you and some guy who can offer him more attention and care. In short, welcome to the world which its people vote for personal gain above other things.

Now don't worry, there's the second type of people. The ones who become your friends because they feel comfortable with you. If they feel comfortable with you, it means they like your personality. They don't become your friend for attention and care, but for the reason they think you are a good person. These type of friend may just stick around you joining you in some activities or sometimes just a chat, and they won't show too much enthusiasm compared to the type above in pestering you with all kinds of treats, because they don't really fear for your cold shoulder. They are just being themselves, that's all. Even if you guys got separated for a few days without any communication, the next time you meet, you will still be much the same. This is the true friend.

There is a Chinese saying that I wholeheartedly agree with:
Friendship between two sincere persons is as tasteless as a glass of clear water, yet free of dirt.
Friendship between two persons who thinks more for themselves is as sweet as honey, yet may hide poison.

Why? Because sincere people become friends because they like each other, not because they want to gain from each other. Therefore their relationship may be a bit dull, but their heart is always true and just. People who make friends to gain from each other may have a more colorful and fun relationship, because they enjoy gaining from each other. But in the end they may end up selling out each other when they want to gain more or blast the other out from the competition.

There's no free lunch, therefore people won't be so nice to you without a reason. Well, it's up to you to find out the reasons and be careful of flattery and treats.

Because there is always a reason for being nice.

Keep some money, for god's sake!

Bad habit. Bad, bad habit.
And it's not just bad. It can be terrible, horrible and merciless sometimes.

Since very very long time ago, human has learned to spare things. (Not "spare me please!" kind of spare)
This "spare things" can be easily achieved by storing extra things to be used in emergency or any other more demanding situation.

Why? As any ancient, undeveloped human may tell you, because life is unpredictable. Life may be sweet at some point, but cruel at some point. You may be lucky sometimes, but bad luck appears sometimes too. Life may be about how much you can get and how comfortable you get to live, yet in many conditions, it is about how you can survive.

But how come human, who becomes cleverer as the time pass, who develops new technology beyond their ancestors' dreams, does not learned from the past? Why there is still so many people who is unable to see the problem?

The bad habit who is making human suffering every single day: NOT TO KEEP

In old days when human is still using barter system (trading by changing belongings) in businesses, it is very hard to spare. Because there is too many things to keep. If you keep dried fish, then maybe you are unable to keep dried fruits. If you keep chickens, maybe you are unable to keep goats. Why? Because you cannot keep everything, limited by energy and human ability. Plus, the transport in these days is a no-no and you can't imagine to buy anything from a place far from yours, barter system or not.

Today?

There's only one thing you have to keep....money. (Except instant noodles and instant drinks, I guess)
There is many who still keep money, but there's also a lot of people who don't.

WHY?

There's two main reason.
One, they don't think that it is necessary to keep some money.
Two, they can't stop themselves from spending the money.

I don't list here the reason "They don't know anything about keeping money" because I think any ten years old would have know about it already.

For the people who don't think it is necessary to keep money, it's either their family is so rich that they have near unlimited resources, or they are optimistic to the point of foolishness. For the second type of people, they are used to be rich before but they still can't shake off the habit of spending like a rich person or they want to show off to their friends as they feel embarrassed to show that they do not have much money.

For any kind of people above, their ending may be disastrous. Having a good income or a rich family only reduces the risk you will face of becoming poor, but the risk's still there, while not being so rich but wanting to spend like you are so rich one may end up owing the whole world money and scrapping leftovers in the bin for dinner.

To avoid that, when you earn a lot, keep some. I don't mean living like a beggar while keeping all the money you can keep, but at least be reasonable and not wasteful in spending. Keep for yourself, keep for your family, keep for your future. It's a knowledge from the past which we should not forget.

Remember, choosing to keep may save your neck in the future.

So It's Tradition huh

In many occasions we are required to sent gifts, either in forms of money or other types of present. From the past it's tradition for Chinese to give red packets with money inside(angpau) to their young during Chinese new year to protect them from bad events (as believed by Chinese since before).

However, as the time and era pasts, what changed the most is our thoughts. Chinese may still give red packets to their own kids to wish them good luck, but when they give red packets to other's people kids it was more like giving because they should. If other people give your children red packets and you do not return his generosity by "wishing" his child children good luck (with red packets too, of course), then people will stare at you like you are some kind of horrible people, and rush to chat about how stingy and antisocial you are behind your back.

In the past when the technology and living condition is not so good, people are not immersed in television programs and internet or computer games. So they mingle around in their society and get well with their neighbors and friends. They also always give each other things they have too much or people need because they are friendly and helpful.

Today in our modern society, we still give people things sometimes, so the tradition is still being carried on. I guess while we can say it's good that the "appearance" of this good tradition that symbolizes helpfulness and friendliness continue, the bad thing here is the true meaning of the tradition has disappeared in most cases. In most cases today, people give things to people because they have too much and want to get rid of it,not sharing good things (although if you somehow know that the person need the thing the case is different). In other occasions where they give to congratulate, people just give money today (I because money is the most important thing in our life already) in the form of red packets, and the reason they give mostly is because of "peer pressure".

Personally, I think that while human evolve and become more "modern" today, we give in too much to make way for our materialistic luxuries, and things we have given up include our true feelings for each other. Maybe it's because we don't need to depend on each other to live anymore, but this transformation slowly turns us into the kind of people who live in our own world. Slowly we began to forget this world is supposed to be everyone's together, and together we should work to make it a better place.

That is why people nowadays may think tradition is a waste and there's no real meaning to us. They are not totally wrong having this kind of thoughts. It's the era and the mind of people that changed, and although we appeared to be carrying on our ancestors' tradition in the exact way, we missed the most important thing: the spirit of the tradition. And with the spirit long gone, we are just people doing things named "tradition" like robots doing their chores, and it's anything but meaningful.

So it's tradition huh? Big deal!

If you hear your kids telling you that, it's not your kids' fault. It's your fault for not keeping the spirit alive in them.

Rules for me, by me: Rule One

When I was at my working place, an idea suddenly sprang into my mind. I realize that in this world there's a lot of principles one has to follow in order achieve our desired success. But, the main thing is one always forget or ignore these principles somehow, although we know exactly that's the thing we should not have done. Well, so i reckoned i will put it down in words so I can always remind myself or get reminded by others (please do so, haha).

First of all, I have to stop one bad habit of mine: spending too much unnecessary money on drinks. When I was studying in matriculation level, I was living away from family and for the first time, using my pocket money with no one to control me or boss me about. Then, I realize that although I did not spend so much on food (still a very considerable amount since my appetite is huge), my pocket money seems to disappear at a faster rate than it should be. Why? well, I noticed that I spent a lot on drinks, which I could have saved a lot of money. Let's say I bought drinks for every lunch and dinner there, and each drinks costs averagely one ringgit, so in one month alone I will spend extra 60 ringgits! Plus, because I am a soy milk lover, I also buy soy milk to drink regularly, causing the extra money spent rise to nearly a hundred ringgit!

Wow, a hundred a month, in a year it will be one thousand and two hundred ringgits! Oh my gosh, I waste one thousand two hundred ringgit on my drinks alone when I completed my one year matriculation course! If I were to continue spending this much on my drinks I will be spending twelve thousand ringgits on drink in ten years, which is a very big amount already!

So, back to the present, I think I should stop this kind of money wastage before it's too late. Of course, for such a soy milk lover to cut out drinking soy milk for the rest of my life is unbearable. That's why I decide to limit my expenses on drinks to five ringgits a week, which allows me some spare bucks to grab a can or two of soy milk, which is the most delicious drink on earth for me! The best thing is, I can reduce my money spent on drinks by 80%, thus greatly increases my savings.

Sitting in a restaurant yesterday, a friend of mine asked me: "How you are going to eat without drinking? It will make your throat feel dry." Well, I still find the idea of drinking later from the bottle I brought along after I leave the restaurant better compared to wasting twelve thousand ringgits in ten years.

Well, I do think I am allowed to spend a bit more on drinks after I have saved quite an amount of money (at least five hundred thousand!). But for now I am just a boy who still get his pocket money from his parents and don't have the ability to feed myself. So it's just fair and more reasonable to spend less on things I don't really need (although soy milk is essential for me, at least mentally) and to spare some money for emergency.

Recently, the restaurant workers in the restaurant I always go to have my lunch have learned not to ask what drink I want (because it will be a waste of time, energy and saliva XD).

PS:

(It's OK if you think this idea is funny or I am too stingy, *shrug* because when one is short of twelve thousand ringgits some other time then only (s)he will know how much this small wasted expenses over the years will cost him(her). I have seen many people striving hard to survive when their business faces problems, yet they are capable of earning loads in the past.)

From Bedtime Stories to Reading

When i was small, my mum used to read me bedtime stories before I sleep. Just like any other normal kids, I was totally fascinated by the stories about kings and princes, robbers and armies as well as magicians and witches. I still vividly remember myself begging my mum to tell more stories before sleeping, and my mum would say: "Hush dear, let's leave it for tomorrow." followed by a sweet smile.

When I grow older, I read story books with pictures and comics. But because I was deeply attracted by stories they appeared to me that the stories they hold are not satisfying enough. But since I was still small, for me the novels that appeared to hold a lot of words and thick are quite intimidating. It was till I completed my standard three education that I try to read a novel in the holidays under my mum's encouragement. I still remember the book titled: Nobel's life. To my astonishment, I was so absorbed by the book that I can't put it down before i finish it. From just a novel I can get a sight into Nobel's life and the story about how he fights against obstacles in his life before achieving great success that will benefit mankind forever.

Since that day, it was like a whole new world is exposed to me. I learned not to fear books that seems thick or articles with words I can't understand. One thing can be sure when you see such articles is there is new things to be learned, and nothing to fear. For hard words, you can find their meaning in dictionary. What really valuable that we can gain is a new way to think, sometimes an idea that can change your life and perspective, driving you in a whole different direction in your life. And what's more, you get to accumulate every perspective people can possibly have because you can read them off articles or books, thus, granting you the chance to compare and think critically based on the various facts and opinions laid in front of you.

People who read are the people who learn, and only those who are learned can change and innovate. A world's change may start from a single country evolving, and a single country's improvement starts from its people's knowledge and decision, while knowledge and the confidence to decide comes from reading.

"The world is flat" as the title of a book written by Thomas Friedman told us. The main reason of this phenomenon is due to the extensive communication applications used by mankind nowadays. Thanks to that, now we can read anything we want through internet and books are easier to reach every corners of the world. Blessed with these advantages, people who does make full use of the power of communication to extend their reading scope will be painfully limited and falls out of competition.

Sadly, although Malaysia is an evolving country, the reading amount by our citizens are still far behind other countries. Many of our people are still unaware of things happening around the globe that might give us lessons and valuable knowledge. For such people, how can they innovate and improve themselves, let alone helping in our nation's development?

It's true many people nowadays may not share my experience: being told bedtime stories that has drawn me towards the world of reading, but it is necessary to open their eyes wide and open their ears to the happenings around us. We as intelligent humans, must follow the tide of change and innovations or get left behind in the outdated thinking and era.

And most importantly, we will also need to educate our young about what powerful ability reading can provide us. If our young generations read, then they learn. When they learn, they change to become better.

Well, maybe parents should spend some time reading bedtime stories to their kids. =)