I had heard from one of my colleagues some tips to handle particularly ego boss or older relatives. He told me that the best way to achieve good relationship and make them like you is to nod and approve whenever they lecture or tell you which way is the best way. Of course, he added, if he or she teach you the wrong way or give you pointless advice (it's up to you to tell whether it is pointless or not), you are quite free to follow the right way (the right way according to you, if you are sure) when that particular person is not poking his nose around. Most funnily is the example he told me: "If your boss tell you that the letter 'B' is read as 'A', just read as 'A' in front of him and resume reading 'B' behind his back."
Well, after several months' working in a secondhand car shop, i perfectly understand the effectiveness of the way he taught me. In fact, it is so effective that the results i get after trying it out is almost shocking. Through my observations, i realized that this type of people normally enjoys having a certain degree of domination over other people, and the people they have the best chance and excuse to dominate is their junior or their employees. They are mostly confident about their own plans and strategies, that they do not allow other people to contradict them, whether they are correct or wrong. They also tend to blame something on others so that they appear to be not responsible for something wrong.
Although we can assume this type of people will have a lower chance of succeeding in their career and become the leader, some did succeed. Some of them are humble and clever. By learning fast and working hard, they may rise to the top without trouble. The problem is, once they think their position is high enough already or they are the "pros" then this type of personality will, most unfortunately, appear and cause the "lower rank people" around him to suffer.
Well, the trick to handle them is to let them win. How? Whenever you are accused, always say sorry and oh-i-will-never-do-that-again type of things. Then, rush off to solve(or make it look like) the problem and report to him afterwards. Of course if it is actually not your fault at all after u solve or fail to solve that problem, give him hints in your report(verbally or on paper) that it is actually not your fault. Mostly, this type of people will keep quiet and won't mention that problem anymore(although they also will not take back their word that's it's your fault, mostly anyway) but will find a way to "pay back" your good deed of of rushing to solve problem without thinking of defending yourself first and of course, keeping their face on their face. So, you are more likely to be promoted and have a "immunity card "even if you do make some mistakes.
Handy isn't it? So this should be the "supposed" way when it comes to tackle such type of people. Of course if he or she is just some people who are not superior than you you can just simply ignore and keep your distance, no need to bother standing them as you do for your boss or seniors.
A relative( let's call him Mr C) of mine is exactly of the type above. The problem is, he is also quite close to me, in fact, more than just a relative to me. Sadly, when he try to teach me or rather, "control" me for my own good, he always put me in misery. I know he is right in many things, but when he is wrong sometimes he just couldn't listen to sense. In other words, he can't accept that he is wrong in any way.
But should i use the "supposed" way when dealing with him? I know that it will make him happy and perhaps like me more, but I am sad to see him cheating himself whenever he do something wrong. I hope I can discuss with him about what's wrong and what's right in a harmony atmosphere rather than breaking into a shouting match every time we tried to discuss. I do not wish to treat him like some type of task that i handle mechanically, just to obtain his preference and treats. I hate just simply nodding when he lecture me with pointless advice and ignoring it just the same. It makes me feel so far away from him, even further than shouting at each other, because at least we are telling each other the thing we have in our minds.....
Maybe i should just use the supposed way to simplify matters: to improve our relationship as there won't be any quarreling after using it. But if I were to use that particular way, won't our relationship become more distant even though we don't quarrel? He will only get to see the faked ME I act in front of him, telling him nothing of my opinions, my thoughts, my dreams......
Should i use the supposed way or shouldn't I?
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