Nice for a reason

In life we may have many friends. And they treat you nicely (at least in some way you appreciate). I guess that's why (s)he is your friend anyway.

There is many reasons people are being nice to you. Do you ever think about that?

Human is a type of social animal. We seek attention and care. That's the general reason why we live in groups and make friends. Besides cooperating to survive anyway.

But what kind of thoughts people have in mind when they become your friend? Do they become your friend just to seek attention and care? Or do they choose you because they are comfortable with you?

They sound no difference, but the difference's huge.

Let's check again: They become your friend to seek attention and care.
And there's this one: They become your friend because they are comfortable with your attention and care.

The first type is present everywhere and is so common that most people would have got used to it already. They are people who make friends because they don't want to be lonely. Of course you may ask: Who wants to be lonely? My answer: No one, but not everyone become your friends JUST BECAUSE they don't want to be lonely. If that's the only reason they become your friend, then you just found some bunch of friends who can leave you anytime when they are not lonely without you and have to choose between you and some guy who can offer him more attention and care. In short, welcome to the world which its people vote for personal gain above other things.

Now don't worry, there's the second type of people. The ones who become your friends because they feel comfortable with you. If they feel comfortable with you, it means they like your personality. They don't become your friend for attention and care, but for the reason they think you are a good person. These type of friend may just stick around you joining you in some activities or sometimes just a chat, and they won't show too much enthusiasm compared to the type above in pestering you with all kinds of treats, because they don't really fear for your cold shoulder. They are just being themselves, that's all. Even if you guys got separated for a few days without any communication, the next time you meet, you will still be much the same. This is the true friend.

There is a Chinese saying that I wholeheartedly agree with:
Friendship between two sincere persons is as tasteless as a glass of clear water, yet free of dirt.
Friendship between two persons who thinks more for themselves is as sweet as honey, yet may hide poison.

Why? Because sincere people become friends because they like each other, not because they want to gain from each other. Therefore their relationship may be a bit dull, but their heart is always true and just. People who make friends to gain from each other may have a more colorful and fun relationship, because they enjoy gaining from each other. But in the end they may end up selling out each other when they want to gain more or blast the other out from the competition.

There's no free lunch, therefore people won't be so nice to you without a reason. Well, it's up to you to find out the reasons and be careful of flattery and treats.

Because there is always a reason for being nice.