Live on! Game on!

There's one dialogue which I remember very well from a drama which I watched not long ago: "Whatever happen you must still smile and be happy, because life goes on no matter what and does not ends at that moment."

I think many people cries and weeps when they watch a touching scene in dramas which include all the emotion outbursts and wise words being spoken, but believe me, if we were to really learn all the good values portrayed then we are already people who holds success in their fist. People always feel down and sad about their fate and encounters in life. When your friends don't want to mix with you you feel like dying. When you face some problems in studies you feel like giving up. But don't the dramas we watch every day (for some) tell us that life goes on no matter what? That the happiness of your life is based on how you view and live your life, not what you encounter? That we are supposed to see everything in a positive way so that we will feel encouraged in everything?

Some people say, life is a competition, not a game. For me, a competition can be a game, depending on your perspective. If you take each thing as a challenge which you complete for fun and try again and again if you were to fail, then you find life less stressed. If you take everything as a competition which you are supposed to be winning, then you find your life like hell. Some people says if you don't take things seriously then you won't be able to achieve good results, but the thing is can't we take games seriously? The biggest difference between games and competitions is one is for fun which the other stresses on victory, but I do not think that we should stress on victory in whatever tasks we are trying to complete. Taking something as a game means that you feel fun in doing it while only concentrates on how to become better without thinking of being the best among other people, it's actually better than competition because the real opponent in our life is always ourselves, not others. The ones who become the best are actually people who thinks of how to improve themselves everyday, not winning their opponents. It's just like two chess players, one always think of how to play better in chess while the other how to win his opponent, who do you think will be better in chess?

Life is a game which do not end unless you die, and if your are not dead you can still win this game. Winning our life's game is not becoming the best, but feeling happy. You can be at the peak of the world, but you can still feel lonely. So how do you become happy? The answer is, by thinking positively and want to be happy yourself! Some people lost everything, but they still feel happy. If you ask them why, they might tell you: "I have just lost everything, but it would be worse still if I were to lose my happiness and hope too" Life is about living, and living is about being happy! There can be no reason, yet if you want to switch you mood to happy, you will be able to do it. The same thing may make one person sad but the other happy clearly showing us that it's our mind that decide what kind of life we want to live!

It's true that we may be lost sometimes in life, and it's true that sometimes we feel disappointed. But whenever we are ready to live on and game on, hope will never leave us! When hope never leaves you, then so do happiness. So whatever happens, remember:

Live on! Game on!

Rule number 2: Total control

I have failed again and again in keeping my temper. As a result, sometimes actions which are not appropriate or words that do not suit the place and time pop out. Sometimes temper does not only mean anger, but also happiness, excitement and impatience.

To change is the best way. To start to change is the action that I must carry out. To be consistent is the attitude I must have to ensure my target is reached.

I have read and heard from many sources that the real control is not to force yourself to bear with unhappiness, but is not to feel unhappy at all however bad the condition may be. The real control is not only controlling yourself from doing things or saying words which will bring bad effects to the people around you when you are too happy, but not to reach the state of over-happy at all. The real control is not to refrain yourself from showing that you are impatient, but not to feel impatient at all.

The true control must be to able to wipe any feeling of giving up although you have failed in something and feel a bit down or disappointed. It must also enable you to pursue your target steadily, not with a heart burning too hot which may dominate your head, but also not with a heart so cold that it can't generate any energy at all. It gives you the ability to love, but at the same time does not cause you to have the wish to take for yourself.

To work on myself is the first step to be liked by others, to smile happily on your own face needs a happy heart. To develop the true good self is more important than a good image, to chase your dreams and love but do so with a pure heart.

So, I think I should start now. At this instant. I have dreams to chase, I have love to find, but if I keep fill my mind with the ugly thoughts, how do I be true and just when I am chasing my dreams and finding my love? And how I get true and meaningful success and sincere love?

I will think of good things, I will speak only good words (although I do like to tease for joke sometimes, so I think I just have to keep my joke behind the line so it does no offence). I will be true to myself, then only by doing so I will be able to find true love and happiness in life.

=)               =D                  X-D

The feeling from the past

People often find that some places make them feel comfortable and some places uncomfortable. It is actually our physical side of our brain affecting us. But all the same, that's why one always like things that give them feeling about being home, about family. It's just the same for people you know.

Patriotic is actually born from this feeling. One is patriotic for one's country because you were born in it, you live in it and you love it. Now where does that love come from? Because your country gives you a feeling of comfort. You get used to your surroundings, you grow up in such a place, therefore you will have certain feelings for it. It gives you a feeling of comfortableness which you can't find a real reason.

Once I read a book that tells a story about a cook who is determined to make those who taste his food feel happy and contented. In his life, he conduct many experiments and researches before he found out the reason: Food that reminds someone of his happy memories will make one happy. A billionaire who used to catch fishes in sea with his father may love the taste of seaweed while a successful businessman who used to be a beggar may be touched by the taste of a steaming bowl of porridge with some slices of ginger.

In life, I have always encounter things which make me feel happy and contented, although I may only realize the reason after that. It happens when I saw little kids running around at mid autumn festival excitedly with their lanterns, or when members of a uniform team are marching round the marching court, students preparing their debate speech notes and many more. One may say that it is crucial to keep moving onward and never look back, but these pleasant memories of the past will always make you smile widely in your future.

Sometimes I feel happy with some people I barely know for several days and after that I will realize the way that person talks may be similar to someone I like or the type of people I used to mingle with. Sometimes I like some food so much although I just get to try it, and realize after that it's because it reminds me of some food I used to eat a lot when I was small. Sometimes when I see a place which resembles somewhere I miss I couldn't stop feeling happy. The feeling is so wonderful, that it can change your mood instantly although you may just encounter problems before.

I feel very grateful for these happy feelings from the past, which continue to cheer me up and give me courage to live. Although I am involved in new tasks, living in a new place and meeting new people everyday, I will always find some tasks, some places and some people that make me happy.

Don't be sad in life whatever you encounter, happiness may be just around you. =D

Dependency

A question asked at the grand new comers welcoming ceremony trigger me to write about this topic.

If you were to give someone things for his own good, please do not give him too much. There's a Chinese saying: Giving a person a fish can fill his tummy for the day, teaching him how to fish can fill his tummy for the rest of his life. The problem is, when you are trying to teach someone who is hungry how to fish a fish, you must also give him some fishes to eat to keep him alive. The trick is to find some way to let a person become able to fish himself before he is used to get free fishes from you, but the point is it's very hard to achieve that. Plus, how that person thinks himself is also a major varying variable. Some people begs for money although they have healthy body, while others work although they are handicapped.

During the ceremony, we were given a chance to interact with our nation's national secretary who work with prime minister. The seventh person to rise and ask question ask a very stupid question, or rather, show the world how low is his thoughts (I won't mention the person's gender and race here). The question asked: Are there any guarantee that job opportunities will be given to students who graduate from this university?

The national secretary ask that person a question before he give any answer.

" Do I owe you a living? "

Although I am not expecting or counting on the government to guarantee me a job or a life, but nevertheless a bell rang somewhere in my mind. Isn't this something that happen in our everyday life? Students who do not get good results blame their teacher, workers who do not get good salary blame their bosses, children who do get their favorite toys blame their parents. Even I blame other people sometimes. But thinking back, do anyone owe you anything?

Your boss owe you for the things you do for the company? Nah, even with you gone the company won't go bankrupt, if it do then your boss will surely treat you well. Your teacher have the responsibility to teach you well? Yes, I suppose a teacher do need to teach you well, but when you start to rely on teacher too much and can't put a little effort of your own you will just end up dying also, certainly not your teacher's fault.

No one owe you a living, that's how life is. When you are born from your mother's womb, she gave you life. You get a life, and how to live your life actually depends on you, not other people. Not realizing this will cause a person to depend on others and worse, think that it is right for other people to be there for you to be depended on. When we start depending on others in all kinds of stuffs, we actually get weaker and weaker. Eventually, we lose our true self, because what make you today depends on others, not yourself. Do you want a life where your existence is based on others only? In such a life where is yourself?

It's true that in many things we need to have some degree of dependency on others, like depending on your family to give you mental support. However, we should also always be prepared to face the worst and be independent when the situation needs us to become so. We need to realize that never needing or trying to be independent will certainly make us vulnerable to disaster and obstacles in future which we may have to face without depending on others around us.

Do I or anyone else owe you a living? Certainly not. Don't get used to dependency.

断绝杂念

很多现代人爱挂在嘴边的一句话是“心情低落”，或所谓的“emo”（emotional简写）。时不时就可以在谈话中听见和在面子书看见。左一句，右一句，慢慢习惯成自然，仿佛心情不好就非要大声告诉大家不可：“我EMO啦！”根据心理学家作出的调查，青少年当中面临心理问题的总人数占10到15个百分比。资料也显示有20个百分比的青少年在成为成人前会经历过心理问题。每五个青少年就有一个会面对心理问题，而且这百分比还随着时间不断增加。

虽然说今天的青少年来自各方面压力会比以往的青少年来的更大，但是无论是什么心理问题都是在我们的脑海里发生的。一个心念可以使你越陷越深，但换一个角度去想却能让你得到正面力量。但是要把坏的念头，担忧和烦恼统统转成好的思想却谈何容易。

想要把坏思想转换成好思想之间还有一个时常被人忽略的环节：断绝杂念。

脑中烦恼事烦不完，烦不完就会影响思路，更难转换成正面思想。因此，应当停止不必要的担心，将事情略做出安排后就该斩断多余的思考。举个例子：今天一个学生要选择要读的科目却此次无法做出决定。所以他应该做的就是专注在自己适合从事什么行业去想就行了。如果他一边又想父母决定，一边又想朋友选择，同时又想以后赚的钱多不多，他不烦死才怪。想东西要抓住要点，不要同时想两三样东西，这样才能想得冷静理智又避免浪费时间。

当我们同时面对连接而来的问题时，应该专注在最重要的问题。将精神集中克服一个问题不仅让我们有机会更全面地去看待各个问题，还能让自己压力减低。为什么呢？因为我们的大脑也需要欺骗。当你告诉它只需要解决一个问题时，大脑会操作的较轻松和集中。反观若同时间把不同的问题摆在它前面，一开始就会让我们大脑紧张，进而在数个问题之间来回思考，无法集中，最后降低解决问题的能力。

除此之外，我们时时都有一些我们无法掌控的东西在影响我们的生活。做了准备后，就要将顾虑除去。既然知道无法掌控，但许多人还是烦恼不断，杞人忧天。试问，当脑里烦个不停时，眼前的局面，你能专心应付吗？为了还远在天边的事却误了摆在眼前东西，这多么愚蠢呀！

要摆脱无边无界的烦恼，就要专注精神活在当下。正在溜走的那一秒钟不懂得保握却浮沉在各种杂念之中，万万不会享受到生活的意义。

至于要如何抓住要点，分别轻重而断绝其他杂念就要靠当事者本身的智慧了。=）

Leave an escape route

Many people would have heard this saying: Don't mess with people with nothing, because they could have done anything since they have nothing to lose. This saying tells us people who already lost almost everything or has nothing important at stake will have no doubt in doing something to change their depressed condition. Thinking of this saying, I remember this type of incident happen a lot in history and our daily lives.

I am not teaching you to make enemies, but in life one will face many competitions, either formal and informal. Facing people who threatens you in any aspect will be similar as facing your enemy, and need to be tackled strategically to reduce trouble or even better, to solve the conflict. The trick to choose the correct way is to choose the way that will reduce your damage received to minimum. For example, if you can win a fight without loosing anything but only cost your enemy a little bit damage, it is still advisable compared to destroying your enemy completely but sustaining heavy loss.

If you were to read "The Art Of War" by Sun Tzi, you will find a saying: When surrounding your enemy to attack them, leave a escape route for them. Do not surround them completely. Do you know why? Let's picture the situation to find the answer.

In this scenario, there's nowhere to run for the red gang. So the blue gang got them cornered properly. Now, who knows what will happen?

Naturally, because the red ones have no place to escape, their only choice is to fight. In this case, the red ones will most probably deal heavy damage to the blue ones although the blue ones will win  in the end due to their greater number.

If there is an escape route, then the situation will differ greatly. The red ones will be concentrate on escaping as they realize that there's no chance of winning. So, the blue ones can enjoy an easy task finishing off those who can't escape in time, with the advantage of attacking from the back of enemies who are escaping and sustaining almost no loss. Maybe a few enemies will escape, but you still gain a huge victory with no casualties. What's more, you will also be more confident to face future battles since your army's strength is not reduced. 

Sun Tzi said: In any fights, being able to stop one's enemy's attack by not sacrificing anything is the best strategy. Isn't that right? In life, not losing is also a part of winning. If you gain a lot after a heavy cost, then maybe it's hardly worth it.

So, remember to leave an escape route for your enemy when you already gain victory. It's not being sympathetic, it's to lose less, and to lose less means to have more. As shown above, allowing your enemy the chance to escape will prevent them from fighting back with all they have. 

In modern society, maybe the competition you will be facing won't be resulting in death. But still, as a Chinese saying goes: Provide others with a chance to move down the stage without further embarrassment.

Although you have won, your opponent will still be grateful for your action, what's more is you may gain a friend to aid you in future.

So the next time you are sure to win already, leave an escape route for your enemy. =)