Dependency

A question asked at the grand new comers welcoming ceremony trigger me to write about this topic.

If you were to give someone things for his own good, please do not give him too much. There's a Chinese saying: Giving a person a fish can fill his tummy for the day, teaching him how to fish can fill his tummy for the rest of his life. The problem is, when you are trying to teach someone who is hungry how to fish a fish, you must also give him some fishes to eat to keep him alive. The trick is to find some way to let a person become able to fish himself before he is used to get free fishes from you, but the point is it's very hard to achieve that. Plus, how that person thinks himself is also a major varying variable. Some people begs for money although they have healthy body, while others work although they are handicapped.

During the ceremony, we were given a chance to interact with our nation's national secretary who work with prime minister. The seventh person to rise and ask question ask a very stupid question, or rather, show the world how low is his thoughts (I won't mention the person's gender and race here). The question asked: Are there any guarantee that job opportunities will be given to students who graduate from this university?

The national secretary ask that person a question before he give any answer.

" Do I owe you a living? "

Although I am not expecting or counting on the government to guarantee me a job or a life, but nevertheless a bell rang somewhere in my mind. Isn't this something that happen in our everyday life? Students who do not get good results blame their teacher, workers who do not get good salary blame their bosses, children who do get their favorite toys blame their parents. Even I blame other people sometimes. But thinking back, do anyone owe you anything?

Your boss owe you for the things you do for the company? Nah, even with you gone the company won't go bankrupt, if it do then your boss will surely treat you well. Your teacher have the responsibility to teach you well? Yes, I suppose a teacher do need to teach you well, but when you start to rely on teacher too much and can't put a little effort of your own you will just end up dying also, certainly not your teacher's fault.

No one owe you a living, that's how life is. When you are born from your mother's womb, she gave you life. You get a life, and how to live your life actually depends on you, not other people. Not realizing this will cause a person to depend on others and worse, think that it is right for other people to be there for you to be depended on. When we start depending on others in all kinds of stuffs, we actually get weaker and weaker. Eventually, we lose our true self, because what make you today depends on others, not yourself. Do you want a life where your existence is based on others only? In such a life where is yourself?

It's true that in many things we need to have some degree of dependency on others, like depending on your family to give you mental support. However, we should also always be prepared to face the worst and be independent when the situation needs us to become so. We need to realize that never needing or trying to be independent will certainly make us vulnerable to disaster and obstacles in future which we may have to face without depending on others around us.

Do I or anyone else owe you a living? Certainly not. Don't get used to dependency.